Jon Chen

2007-08-09T12:18:00.000-07:00

haiyoo...

okae, i kinda had a arguement with my dad just now...
i realized that hes the kinda guy that is very pro-pap..and l'm that kinda guy that disagree with the functions of the current goverment...
i will not disagree at the fact that the past PAP goverments have done a fantastic job with Singapore..no doubt about that, but i think the current one is too narrow minded and profit driven to trade money for the moral values of it's people.

this is the basis of my Arguement is that other countries have other resource to bring in revenue like it's natural resources, but i cant say the same for Singapore, because our only resource is our people and if we degenerate this resource then it is the doom of this country..and by bring in the casino...it brings alot the different problems like increase in gambling which will lead to more broken families..increase in loan sharks and under world dealings...think about it, even with laws...when has it stop man from doing something wrong? the tougher the law...the darker the under world...to what extend is the goverment right to move towards that direction..it is a trade off...profit/revenue for social and moral values...which in Singapore case..well..u do the maths..

but the best part is that i won the arguement...but seriously..i think the key failures of this goverment is 1) insensitivity towards it's populations 2) narrow minded views of the future..why? minister pay rise and GST increase back to back...the insensitivity towards the lower end of the population...worse of all...throw money to "blind" the population over the issue...worse of all is that sometimes Singaporeans themselves are even more short sighted....

yesh..althought tomorrow is the Country's Birthday..and by all means, i acknowledge the fact that we have grown but we want to stay that way isnt it? we need to reflect more on the flaws now as we do have the resources to make things happen...i do hope that i dun see bad things happening...

ohh..giving some thought i gain a new sight about education
to educate..is to enable and to enable is to empower and to empower is to make things happen..
how true..i guess it is in Singapore's point of view because alot of things are decided by education, is decided by how far we go or what we get in school..it does give us an edge on what happens in future..

busy busy day tomorrow...will blog more about it
cheers!
-jon

2007-08-07T01:32:00.001-07:00

yaawn, l'm a little tired..in school right now, i cant believe that i stood up for a 40 mins presentation...

life has been alright, just the usual rush of work and trying to satisfy facilitator's expectations in school and its not easy because they can expect quite a fair bit from me...i haven really decided wad to do with my graduation project yet and but i have a rough feeling where l'll go towards, and i think l'll be doing on marketing communications...i have to submit my sypnosis soon...by 15 sept and l'm still waiting for the results of my exam...damn it lah, its taking so long..i do think about it abit every day.

as i rough it out with school and projects..l haven been feeling too good lately and its probably cos l'm not taking my vitamins..which yesh i would start soon if i dun forget..

mom hasen been around lately as usual and l'm honestly getting a little bit worried for her because shes not really being her usual self and i wan my mom back! it can get quite lonely at home...too quite..just me and cookie..my cookie..hes growing strong right now and is eating alot..but i miss my last dog kayo...haiz.

dad has been bugging me as usual..nothing new about that..i dun really wanna talk about it..but always and i always rem that its about being the bigger person..not physical but in charactor..in trust and truth..sometimes i do stay awake at night..not longg..but i do..to think abt family..how things could have been different...how maybe things would have worked out...well, i have done everything within my power to try tooo...but u cant force a person to like something she doesn...and thats my mom...

i was watching desperate housewives last night..its not too bad, watching it cos i wanna know wad stace likes and well, to just be there for her..that i realized how we people..humans loves scandals...and how much we love for it to happen to people who we dun like but! when we find ourselves in the same suck...we never laugh..in fact cry alot about it...but take heart and couraage because somehow things will get better, somehow to pull forward....another show called brothers and sisters..always have a very very sweet ending reminds me of me and my 2 brothers...l'll always be there for them..and whoever dares to mess with them..messes with me..same with mom, same with stace...=P kae..got to calm the blood lust abit here....

truth is i cant wait for school to end so i can start my career in the army..not because l'm sick of studying, i love to be able to learn more but its time to exposed to new things..exciting ones if i may add...i still wanna get my masters..i still wanna go back to school...but to be able to fly..its a feeling i often think about...now and then an airplane zooms pass..i get this excitment that there is where i am suppose to be..wishes and dreams that are yet to come true....but i wanna finish wadever i have strongly...to end things on the right note...and its therefore important for me to be able to keep focus with wadever i have

alright, will update soon
-jon

2007-08-01T17:55:00.000-07:00

a tribute to the koreans held as hostages..

sometimes the good intends of man
never returns the right favour
and bad things do happen to good people
but take anchor in the goodness of the spirit
and look towards the beyond

evil grows when good men does nothing
and the sight of the narrow minded never goes far
but take pride dear friends in what you wanted to do
and take heart for your reward is great
never was it meant to be easy
but it never was suppose to be this hard...

shortcomings of the weight of this world
mistakes that repeat itself
but they choose to make a difference
and that is difference itself
admiration and tears flow

i may not know u..nor would i ever will
but this goes out to you..
men who knows no morals, knows no bounds
men who take lives, values none
men who knows no reason, knows no God
2 life loss..more may follow
take pride that it was the goodness of the spirit
that drives within you...
take pride that morals, reason and selflessness
is something u have that they will never have
and take pride that you gave but they took away.

the distance that you have travelled
is so much more then what they have done
that love is repaid by terror
but all in all..
i say thank you..for making a difference in a land
where evil people dwell..
for loving when the going is hard
and for caring even when u koreans didn have too

to you and be God be the glory
that great is thy reward in heaven

-jon

2007-07-31T03:58:00.000-07:00

to whom much is given, to whom much is expect off...something my Godma always told me..something that she reminds me of..and i do admit that the pressure of it all, gets the worse of me sometimes that i may tend to take things negative about myself..yesh i know that i tend to fly higher sometimes, to push myself abit more but when i dun..tend i reflect within myself where i went wrong....

and hell i admit that l'm a thinker...and that may not be good for me cos i may tend to over do it...then there would be times that i would under do it as well, and i just think that it isnt easy sometimes because i need to control my thoughts...not to over do it especially and its a long way to go for me...but i do have a confession to make.....suddenly going overseas for pilot trainning isnt as exciting as i thought it would be...the thought of being all along in a foreign country for such a long period of time...i dun know..but i guess its a good thing...and lately i have been quite stressed up at school as well...i think the stress of preforming well is quite demanding...and the expectation that i am putting myself in just...just isnt the same as before..i feel i need to concentrate more, aim higher..dig deeper for the strength to carry on...today i had a very bad time in school today...i was sorta "marked" for what i said and often to validate my findings and i had a bad time answering basied questions against me...boy oh boy..headacheville..

the last few days..have been quite torrid on me...so many changes, so many expectations, so many things running thru my head...its just tough sometimes to take it all in and expect me to be alright about it, but truth is l'm not..l'm becoming a young man now..its time to be more sensible..its time to be more matured, its time to look at things from a different angle, its time...its time...its realli time where things are different...i just cant help it u know...ambitious..visionary..yea true..i dun really feel the kinda young man that wants to go out and party..i dun feel like the kinda young man who loves to be in the company happening people...those are my yesterdays...but now...its a young man focused...and thats a good thing i guess....

gosh..i have a nagging headache right now and l'm in school...

2007-07-29T04:32:00.000-07:00

what a weekend...
lets see...i had to go and give tuition, all the way to simei and it isnt as fun as it seems alright, and i just discovered the in primary school, they actually have show and tell now, which realli stuns me...i spent like an hour trying to teach proper show and tell with presentation...and its not that fun..i had to even take a doll and play around with the gurl...if anything saw me doing something like that...haiz.. there was a moment where i had to scold her for playing too much, i really need to keep her focused...

anyway, after that i rushed down to bugis to get my new phone..and i got the brand new N76 and its so exciting having something like that...or rather its been awhile since i got a new phone and theres just so much functions in the phone and l'm still trying to discover more about the phone too...sometimes things just gets so complicated and its so strange...isnt simplicity beauty? but what can i say, it is a nice phone, sleek and kinda sexy too hahhaa.

Sunday is as per normal...church in the morning, soccer in the afternoon...arr..well. i dun think i should have played..it wasent a good idea cos i was already freezing during the church service where everyone was okae...i was seriously freezing my ass off...and l'm the kinda guy that loves the cold..then soccer, i had fun today, hit a total of 5 goals, realli rare but i dun think something like that would happen again thou..just lucky today but i got brusied..quite badly, i got hurt a couple of weeks ago and so happens i have got a bad blue black on my leg leg..and my heel is starting to hurt for some strange reason...i think cos i got tackled quite hard...at some point...

i got back..mom cooked but no around...as usual...both my brothers are back in national service..one is participating in some war game this week, the other has hell week approaching...me? recently i have been feeling abit out of place..and the difference within me isnt helping too...but u know wad? there is nothing in this world thats going to keep me away from going forward..there is so much in life..that l'm not willing to look at the current..we have to look to the beyond..and i have a beyond to look forward too=)

alright, enough for todayy
laterss*winks
-jon

2007-07-26T20:33:00.001-07:00

goshh..look at how different i look from my year 1 in Rp dinner and dance night and noww..when i was in China for the industrial attachment program

2007-07-26T19:49:00.000-07:00

programming...never really my strong point..
its just something about the codes that i dun understand..
bahh...but i still have to make an effort to try i guess..yesh yesh i will.

Yesterday after sending stacey home, i had a chat with Valentina..well, she just happen to be on the same bus as us..so we started talking about the future and how time is flying by so quickly, and worse of all, some of us really have no idea what we really want to do...and i guess i am grateful to say that at least the next 12 years of my life seems to be planned out and l'll be serving in the armed forces..but she kinda got me thinking beyond that..well, sometimes i cant really help it cos l'm a thinking person..that in my silence may come wisdom or stupid things=P..but yea...being a pilot and after serving as a pilot in SIA, is that something i really wanna do? well, i should think too much right? after all, i may not even pass my pilot test..but in all confidence and perfect situation that i did...would i want to be a pilot for 12 years? thats really really long u know...but u know wad, l'm not going to think so much in this manner, cos i think it'll be good for me, discipline and regimental lifestyle of the Armed forces will probably make me a lot stronger..soo johnny boy u dun have to think so much haha.

anyway, yesterday was bear bear's birthday and 10 years of boy's school experience coming to the core, and it was really really furnie, i somehow manage to obtain the mother of all markers and drew all over his body..i even have a video as proof, but who knows hahaha...nahh, i promise that i wouldn put on Utube....we almost barely did any work and that nearly costed me, but all in all, i think i dun have to worry so much..i wrote a good Rj..i think....

and its the weekend!! oh well, its coming to the weekend and l'm glad, i have never treasured my weekend so much before...cos l'm in school everyday now, and early too...and sometimes all i want to do on a saturday is just to sleep....that is so true... gosh and this is wad school does to you..

last night i stayed awake for awhile, i couldn really sleep, there were just things on my mind..that were bugging me..and i started to talk to cookie(whom is my dog) and he looks at me like he understands..its just some issues that i myself as a person needs to overcome...as usual dad was mean to me last night for no reason...and i have all the right reason to be horrible to him..why cant things just be more simple sometimes? honestly i tried to make things right before, then he takes advantage of that and it saddens me on the inside..but then i got to look at the more positive side of things and in this case..maybe i manage to get more allowance...or to be able to get him to buy something for me..

i was also on the sofa yesterday, just staring out the 21st story window with a storm of an headache in my head...the wind was breezing into my face..as the cold rainy air fills my lungs..the seconds tickles and the minutes pass..stronger and of good courage i can become with the passing of time, trials..saddness..tribulations...lessons..mistakes..all a process in life..

well, something on the lighter side of life..hehe, l'm getting a new handphone this coming weekend!, N76 i think or nokia 5700, i haven really decided yet...its been awhile since i have gotten something expensive, i actually am also getting the new Arsenal away jersey and of course this time round l'm going to get it printed with the number 4! cesc fabragas...lets see, do i have anything else on my wishlist? i'm actually considering getting a new ipod for jogging...cant bare to use the red one during my jog at the same time...with all that sweat.eee, i like my red ipod quite alot....

well, okae..l'll leave it here for now...
laters
-jon

2007-07-24T23:32:00.000-07:00

damn...UT on a weds...gosh l'm so tired...

i was almost late for the UT this morning, i had to rush out of the house at 8 30? and ut was at 9..so i took like 5 mins to shower and got to school as fast as i could...but thank God i manage to get there on time..well, 2 mins late..but its not that bad...

okae..strange week..i dun know wad to say, but i think its probably a week that l'm not feeling too good about and somewhat l'm trying to keep a positive outlook of things? cos its just one of the things that i myself need to learn, disappointment, rejections and so on are going to be part and parcel of life and i really have to learn how to handle them in a positive constructive manner...

i manage to go and met my God parents last night and i had a good time with them, i must admit that l'm losing that family feeling at home, no one is at home, l'm alone most of the time and mom is busy doing what she is doing, so i have to turn to my godparents to be my parental figures to guide me thru wad happening....well, i have got issues that was born out of the way i was brought up, but it so strange that i still can turn out the way that i do because i went thru alot, but i refuse and i do be absolutely refuse to be someone that would be a mean or a jerk or idiot..no no..its just not wired in me to be that way...even when life is difficult..and in my case l'm feeling that lack..as i make that transition into young adulthood..but like i said time and time again, i wanna grow up to be different from the rest.

but u know, its time to think about the present and future, we learn from our past and even if my past is riddled with rejections and saddness there is no way i wan to conform with what my past has taught me, yesh the good lessons of course but i will not be negative inspite of what happen. the present is where i build my future, who i wan to be come, who i aspire to be and where i want to go..it is a long way to go, there is no denying that..

lessons are learned, character builded and spirit polished...that is the result of the process, but the process is ever so painful but its the end that we have to look forward too, i admit that sometimes, its just too painful to see whats in the future, and worse of all, i definately feel like giving up many times, no doubt i have before...l'm not perfect but i try...and thats the thing that matters.

ah well, will end here for today
-jon

2007-07-21T22:02:00.000-07:00

ayee, l'm back..after an odd night's sleep..its strange thou cos i rarely get nightmares but i just happen to have one last night, i also dun think i will be playing soccer today cos my left leg shin still hurts when i touch it and i dun wanna break it...just being extra careful..hmmm, the dream was a little odd cos it started perfectly with my career as an air force pilot(which i really hope i become) but then i was helpless to prevent an accident which i loss my love ones..and then a daunting gloom came over me, suddenly life becomes a drag and empty..at each turn, i faced troubles of different kinds...so i woke up with sorta a headache today..not a fantastic start but a start anyway.

Being in Rp actually does make my English go woohoo..and not in a good sense cos it seems l'm having trouble trying to find the right words to say somehow but i got to say that even with that, i have made some valuable friends, having lunch and all that together..laughing at my poor attempts to improve or speak chinese...duh..at least i try. its just those little things i enjoy during my time in school that i need the most..like what i said before, sometimes its not the big things in life but the small that makes us smile, big things just moulds and defines us...i never saw myself in a poly and if i could turn back time...i would like to say that i would never see myself making another choice besides ACJC hehe..

life is going to fly really fast now...soon school will end and l'll be off to the Army which i think l'm long dued for, both my brothers are in there and seem to be enjoying life in there..as for me, i kinda cant wait to go in there and don on the camo colours and the flying suit of the Singapore air force..i just have to pass what they throw at me thou...but i know i have got to be confident in my ability to do well in there..

a couple of weeks back i had to make a decision..strange as it seems but i never really did forgive people who hurt me in a bad way..but i decided that it was time for a start so i started with someone i wanted to talk to, whom i miss and love...stace..yea, l'm sure some of you would know what l'm talking about, and it wasent easy for me the last few months, to go thru everything..cos in the end, i just never seem to let goo..i know i know, some of you said to move on, or fish again...but it was hard for me u know..i just dun know why she was that difference..i just never felt the same about anyone else...but thanks for being with me all these while even when i got depressed and all that....so yea, i started talking to her again..and i dun know how to say this but inside, it just felt good..i was happy, like something thats been bugging me just lifted..weird right? but it did happen..i guess l'm sentimental or emotional but thats just how i was bought up to be..sensitive to other people's feelings, to be accomandating and compromise..

and so we talked, and i have to admit that secretly i was falling for her all over again..shh...i never really talked about it..but yea, i did.strange after so long, after wadever that has happen l'm still like that...but its that longing that i had all these while..but i tell u, this gurl is different..shes special different and maybe thats why i never could and never wanted to let go..so from talking we went out and from there..her smile...her laughter..her playfulness..i would never wanted things to be any different, past or present..every night i had to keep myself in check..and trust me, being in denial is difficult..as i take this road once again..its the end that i see, and the process that i have to go thru..and never has a process been easy..but the process brings out the beauty of everything..

i think it has got to do with being vulnerable once again..nobody likes to be vulnerable..and everytime we do, we risk alot..but the more the risk, the great the reward isnt it?..or it can also go the other way..but never..never sell a person short or risk..because if the outcome is more then a person hope for...its going to be awesome...realli is..honestly speaking..i am scared..i am feeling vulnerable..but thats just the way it is..if no one dares then nothing would happen

i guess on my part, i would say i am weird=P..yesh, admitting that is the first part to recovery but l'm that kinda weird weird..its a good kinda weird..i rem once that i blogged about the kind of person i want to be..and i still standby wad i said, i dun have to be what the world wants to be, i wanna be able to compromise, honest, loving, firm but fair and so on..all these i wanna see in person, i shall show within myself..

i think the other thing i was going thru was growing up..cos recently it feels as if i have changed..i dun really want to go out much anymore, my focus has changed and i think thats weird for me..

alright, will update more later then

-jon

so it beginns

2007-07-21T06:07:00.000-07:00

heyhey..alright, i guess l'm back to blogging..well, somewhat cos of popular demand and mistake on my part to actually delete cos i really did not see the point or had the time to actually blog..but since u guys are reading and think that my life has got something interesting in it...then all the more gives me the purpose to write....

so here goes...its been a tough couple of weeks for me..ups and downs, going thru the painful process of studying, examinations and growing up, nothing really new but such a importance in our life. there are also many pleasent things that happen..which i will write more about..

recently i just feel different..i act different and somewhat l'm am different..i guess it was about time to grow up and think about my future, to think about whatever is happening in future..a start of something new for me and many of my focus has changed..i stopped rugby to study, get over that and yesh, i still pride myself in being fit. as i think about it more and more, i think i can really say that i am growing up abit and its a good thing..yes a good thing. l'm working hard at school, l'm actually early for school thanks to stace(will write more about her too) and l'm getting the approval of my facilitators and lecturers..well, basically almost everyone..

oh before i go on..i really have to say this..wadever i write here is my thoughts, something that i really need to get my chest off from..so please please, if i ever do say something bad about u, dun be offended because i never mean any malice against u.its just something i need to write about, cos my last blog, some people actually got offended and i dun wan that to happen again...and of course l'll modify wadever i need to the blog when i get the right resources because my computer doesn have the proper tools for me to design one and i kinda forgot how to put chat boards and all that yet, so bare with the "factory" made blog template.

alright, i also have certain conflicts going thru in my life, certain issues that people have against me, cos last year, i left for such a long period of time without barely even telling someone and it seems that it caused an effect that is undesired..l'm trying my best to resolve them now because i dun wan them to be left hanging...i just dun like it...

well, briefly going thru what i went thru with my exam...my goodness, the lecturer totally cheated my feeling and the exam kinda turn to be a disaster..well, to me it is..and i did tons of calculations and essays..but have no idea if i would pass or not..its just one of those exams where i dun feel confident in passing in...haiz...all ready to take the sub paper i guess...family wise, its been the same..dad gives the crap, mom is busy..both bother in NS...it does get lonely from time to time and most of the time, l'm alone at home...both good and bad i guess...it can get quite ssad sometimes...

hmm, i really dun know where to start on my life lately...let me give some thought to it before i blog about alright?

-jon